D Watch!

Sup, y'all. I have fallen off big time. last week was probably my busiest wek of the term. this week, however, i can devote time to writting and having important things to say.

it's recently been buzzing around a concerned minority base on campus that "the Dartmouth," America's oldest college newspaper has been misrepresenting, disrespecting, and alienating a specific population of the Dartmouth community.

the D has falsely tried to pit african americans and the LGBTQA community against each other over the MLK, Jr. Celebrations. this is because the D wished to create a non-existant controvesy to gain more readers. scandal apparently makes better news than the truth. 2 keynote speakers in the MLK Celebrations were lesbian women, one a southern white and the other a black and native american activist.

to read further, check out my link to "D Watch." The outrage and real scandal of the atrocities committed by the D can be explained much more eloquently there. it is really interesting and worth reading, i promise!

holla back, kiddies!

Love Is In the Air!

Don't forget: Valentine's Day is Monday!!!

to recap the 10 steps to a perfect evening:

1. Start Eary...get on that!!!
2. Brainstorm romantic ideas to personalize the expereince.
3. Make a "love song" playlist/CD.
4. Make contact through a poem or note.
5. Pique their interest with flowers or candy.
6. Enlist an a cappella group to serenade your valentine.
7. Get help from friends and roomates to occupy their time while you work your romantic magic behind the scenes.
8. Clear the room of roomates.
9. Decorate the space intimately.
10. Enjoy the night....don't get too frisky!

Let's get it on, kiddies!

Restless in Hanover

Lately i've been restless, agitated, and uneasy. i'm not exactly sure the cause. it's like i'm constantly looking for something to happen, something big and exciting, something to knock me off of my feet and send me reeling into excitement and adventure. i suppose this is me still living from one brief stint of experience to the next.

i rely too much on planning and organization, i suppose. i like to have all of my affairs in order. i like to know what i'm doing in advance and plan out a list of activities, maintaining some semblance of a schedule. i do recognize the value of spontenaiety and living for the moment, but i feel naked without at least a guideline. i feel as though, if i go out at night without a plan mapped out in my head, that things won't work out as well. i won't have as much fun. if i don't know the sequence of places or frats to go to, then too much time will be wasted with indicision. and, anyone who knows me knows that i am one of the most indicisive people alive. i'm one who likes to maximize his fun/hang out time. it's so short and so anticipated that if i don't make the most of it, the work week will be back in full swing before i know it without a nice, fun interlude.

and, i've been so restless partly because i haven't been able to find order. i feel like i'm drowning in a pool of chaos. nothing seems to take shape lately. i just cant seem to find any sort of balance between sanity and helplessness. i've just been so alone. it seems like no one can understand me. it seems like no one will come to my rescue. it's senior year all over again. i came here to get away from that...far, far away from that. i came to college, and in only a term and a couple weeks, i am such a happier person. my friends from home even noticed a difference. i've never been more myself (if that makes sense), and i've never had this kind of prolonged peace and time alone with myself. sure, there are people here who i adore and consider very good friends. but, in freshman year at the D, i've really had time to just be alone and reflect. lately, ALL i've been doing is reflecting alone. i've been able to cope with some of my issues and make peace with a difficult inner conflict.

in doing so, i hopefully with be able to pull things back together and move on. i'm ready to get back out there and tear up campus. this weekend, Dartmouth's famed Winter Carnival, is a perfect opportunity to let loose and wild out on campus. Dartmouth won't know what happened to it once i'm done. thank GoD for DANCE PARTIES!!!! life is too short to waste depressed and lonely. i'm gonna get out there, get with some great people, get...um...tipsy...and dance the night away.

see you all on brighter days, kiddies!

Happy Now??

I must say, i was totally prepared to launch into this entire long, whining blog about how my life is depressing, the truly amazing moments are few and far between, etc....but, i just realized how fickle the mind is. after all my feelings of "golly, gee, shucks, wow. life sucks," as dead set on those feelings as i was, i turned on the tv and my entire attitude changed. i turned instinctively to comedy central to cheer me up, and i was not disappointed. who better to brighten my mood than classic Richard Pryor. good Lord, genius! i went from being "the sadest kid on earth" to laughing hysterically.

why is it that human emotions and moods are so easily swayed and affected? it made me wonder what a natural mood really is (i.e what is a natural state?). is it indifference? is it depression? do we merely live from one brief expereince of "happiness" or fulfilment to the next? and what exactly is happiness? it, i suppose, would be defined most elementarily as induced pleasure or satisfaction. but, happiness, to me, varies greatly on an individual basis. that which makes me happy is not necessarily what makes you happy. what am i left with after my "happiness" is over...anticipation for the next happy experience?

conservative catholic theologian Michael Novak would argue that i am currently descending into "the expereince of nothingness." the expereince of nothingness is essentially when individuals challenge or question the values or ideals which they are taught to uphold by their culture or society. in doing so, they seek to establish their own set of values for themselves. one of the things fed to us by our culture, he asserts, is what we use to define our happiness. the American dream of 2 cars, a nice suburban home, with 2.5 kids and a dog is one sort of happiness we are all taught to pursue. many define their happiness and success by material things. i, however, define my happiness by my freedom to let myself go.

only lately have i felt able to let go: let go of inhibitions, fear, self-consciousness, self-doubt, etc., and i realize how much better i feel once i've shed all those things weighing me down. life is way too short to waste feeling sorry for myself and bad about who i am. the only times i've noticed when i'm happy lately is when i get some confidence (some, balls if you will) and the courage to express a side that people don't normally see of me. i've spent so long trying to hide or shield certain parts of my life from the world, that moments of liberation are what i live for. these sparks of freedom truly make me happy.

the happiness component of liberation, however, only comes after a crescendo of mixed emotions. it seems like i run the gauntlet of emotions before i finally settle on happiness. there's a build up of worry and anxiety, followed by a spark of triumph, then brief regret, followed finally by realizing that what i did made me happy, and that i have nothing to regret at all.

it's been hard sorting through all of my thoughts and emotions, but i have faith that everything will turn out alright. the negative will be weeded out of my life, and the good will prevail in the end. negative influences and forces are easily conquered with the right attitude and amazing people surrounding you...or that's just what i think. before i end, i have a confession: i am an optimist. hate me or love me, it's part of who i am. if you choose to hate me for it, you're missing out on a whole lot more of me that i'm confident you wouldnt want to miss!

Adieu kiddies!

Collegiate Romantics

With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, for you out there with lovers, bf/gf's, random hook partners, snuggle bunnies, silly geese, or whatever you want to call your intimate partner, i figured i'd cook up some ways to make the 14th special and memorable for the both of you. of course, i know this is hypocritical considering i don't have much of a love life, nor does it look like i'll have one anytime soon...(sigh)...i can still be romantic. well, i can still have a very romantic mind and have the sense to know what is actually romantic.

just follow my instructions and you are guaranteed an amazing day/night!! so, here are "CJo's 10 Steps to Romance at College":

1. Start Early. the key to preparing for a romantic occasion is starting in advance of the actual date. my suggestion is to start at least 3 days before your special occasion. start with small hints or clues and work you way up to the big shabang. you must be thorough in your planning, or the night won't have the effect you desire. start making reservations, purchasing gifts, etc. as soon as possible.

2. Brainstorm. think up a list of things that your significant other/object of affection loves. personalization is what makes any occasion special. if you know and have a list handy of things which are guaranteed to make them swoon/shed their clothes (who are we kidding, we all want sex), it will make your planning easier. make sure to customize the event with all the personal touches that he/she will adore.

3. Love Songs. compile a playlist (and perhaps burn onto a CD) of the ultimate love songs. now, there is much liberty you can take in assembling this list of songs. everyone's musical tastes are different. just make sure the songs are special to that certain someone. hard, heavy rock could float their boat. showtunes could tickle their fancy. i'm not saying make a list of party songs, but nice, easy romantic songs which will progress the evening along nicely are the key. this involves arranging the playlist in such a way that starts off with a certain mood and progresses (slowly, but steadily) toward another (if you catch my drift). **if you desire, i could give some suggested songs i find irresistable. just ask in a comment**

4. Initial Contact. do something on the 1st day of the 3 day program like send a poem or a love note to their college mailbox. this will catch them off-guard, first of all, to find a note/poem in their mailbox. this will spark their interest as well. case 1: if you're in a relationship, do not let on that you know about the gift. make the note/peom as anonymous as possible. act as if nothing is out of the ordinary. case 2: your job is easy...just send the letter anonymously from a "secret admirer."

5. Pique Interest. on the 2nd day, do something like leave flowers or candy or some token gift that they will enjoy outside of their dorm room door with an ambiguous note attached (even if they know the giver, you'd be "cute" this way). leave it early enough in the morning that it will be an unexpected surprise, and so that they get it when they first open the door. make sure you address it. we wouldn't want a jealous roomate trying to claim it! i'll save what to do on the 3rd and final day for later in the list!

6. Love Songs: Part Deux. if you really want to put some icing on this love-cake, enlist an a cappella group to serenade your funny valentine during the day before your special evening. dependin on whether or not you have a friend in that group, you may want to offer them money to do it. offer, but do it in a way that they'll be sure to offer service free of charge. approach someone nice in the group and propose the idea. coordinate where the singers should meet your date with a song. you may need a friend to help position the date in a certain location at a certain time.

7. Help! help is always needed. you cannot pull off a really special evening alone! get the help of his/her friend to occupy their time while you pull off the intricate set-up for the big evening. the set up should be done on the day of the event. just ask one of your common friends or one of her/his friends to distract them while you work your magic behind the scenes. they'll never see it coming!

8. Clear Space. this is key!!!!! be polite, but you need to ask their roomate (if they have one) to leave the room for a few hours. i don't propose you kick them out for the night, but ask nicely if you may have the space between 7 and 10 p.m. or so (however long they're willing to stay out). be very careful how you go about this. be sure to ask nicely, or it can lead to sore feelings and strained relationships.

9. Decorate. blanket the room with candles (though illegal, be careful..because they are pretty!), set up music, have a special, comized/personalized gift waiting. you should also have flowers and and a meal of his/her favorite foods waiting. do some take out from a nice restaurant (doesn't have to be the most expensive), but transfer the dishes to some nicer containers. you should have thought of the perfect food in step #3! set it up so that the space is dimly lit, though well decorated and intimate.

10. Enjoy the Company. last, but never least, enjoy the night! if you have pulled off the set up, and the mood is right, then the evening should fly without a hitch. add the prepared soundtrack to your night, and let things progress naturally. he/she will be putty in your hands. make sure to compliment them often on thier appearance and how much you truly care for them. say it, and mean it! be polite, be kind, be caring, be responsible.

Have fun* kiddies!!

*no glove, no love!