Release

Hello once again from your friendly neighborhood blogger! My mind has been sort of this jumble of confusing and conflicting thoughts, emotions, feelings, and such in the past week. some people would take that as an excellent opportunity to express what they are feeling in words, perhaps to try to work through any persistent or nagging issues. yet, when my mind gets crammed with all sorts of consuming thoughts, it's like it just shuts down. often i just wanna sleep a lot to get my mind off of things (which is never good when you have an extremely busy schedule and lots of work to be done).

if not asleep, i usually choose one of 2 extremes: i either become like a hermit, shutting myself in my room and only coming out when necessary, or i will have to surround myself with lots of people to laugh and joke my cares away. (i swear this blog has a point that i wanna talk about, just bare with me while i vent). so yes, that's just how i've been feeling lately. i can think of a few reasons why, but no need to elaborate, not too important. i've also been watching the movie Camp a lot lately. such an excellent movie, really helps me take my mind off petty and unnecessary shit.

i made a painting called "release" 2 years ago. it was a guy (me?) standing in a field with the sun rising/setting in the background (depending on your interpretation) with arms outstretched and all of the stars pouring out of his mouth into the dark sky. sometimes i wish it were that easy. to just throw your head back, throw your arms out wide and just release all the pent up energy/stress/tension/regret/anxiety/etc. one might be harboring. i suppose there are other ways of finding ways to release these negative energies. getting involved in activites, busying the mind or either just relaxing are 2 completely opposite ways, yet some might find one more useful than the other. i suppose i like to try and incorporate a bit of both in my life.

maybe i'll find my way out to the Green one night and just scream all my problems away...i just hope S&S won't be near....
no sense wallowing in the negative. i'm going to try to focus myself toward the future. but then , that would suppose that i know how to live in the present. i guess we have to pick what we value most about the past, seize in the present, and prepare/equip ourselves for the future.

to quote my new favorite movie, the wonderful CAMP, "frustration is a useless emotion. if you see something you want, you just have to go for it. it's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't done."

can i get an amen kiddies?