I Have A Dream

I always seem to get pretty good creative inspiration halfway between consciousness and dreaming. I know I am not dreaming because I am aware of my thoughts and am fairly certain that I can open my eyes at any point. These revelations of creative grandeur occur either when I am waking or falling asleep, thought mostly when I am falling asleep and usually pass by until I remember them again. I prefer to have them when I am waking so that I can wake and write them down. As I am the laziest person alive, when I am falling asleep, it better be a pretty damn good idea for me to get back up and write it down before I forget it. That's how I usually weed out the terrible ideas. If it's good enough to remember, it'll be waiting right behind my eyelids when I wake. However, this is probably why I've started falling asleep with my computer right by my face every night. I use the excuse of playing music, but it's mostly an exercise in memory.

Mostly my creative ideas include funny ideas for characters, or poetry (which has caused me to sit up and flow), or short stories (one which I am currently working on), or even ideas of things I want to draw or paint. I usually don't like to draw or paint from scratch. I like to copy works. But I've had some pretty fresh ideas for stuff in the past. I had one idea which turned out pretty well in the sketching stages of a painting for my mom's office of two children reading. Since her old office burned down and she lost all her old artwork, I promised to create her something new. Two years later, here I am with that same little pencil sketch....remember I said I was lazy...I should write this down before I forget.

Well just recently I had this idea right before I woke up that I wanted to write a script. I've written a couple scripts in the past that I've liked, but nothing that was really serious. I like to write scripts about things that I know or experiences that I've had with fictionalized characters and embellished elements. I feel like the best stories are the ones you've lived. The short story I'm writing has a gay protagonist with a plot not far from my own life, and the last two original art pieces have been composed around a young African American male. Since I've been dying to write a script which I could direct, have only acted, I feel like I may have stumbled on a pretty good idea for a comedy. I am going to write about my experiences at the 'Beez. I've come across some pretty colorful characters in my months working there, and think it could actually work. From my managers, the cooks, my fellow servers, the hosts, and most importantly the guests, I have a solid base for character structure, and of course, my own life would serve as inspiration for the plot line. It would absolutely be a comedy, and probably be designed for the stage (black box) in one act.

I'd love to put it on at some point, perhaps at Dartmouth. Maybe one day it'll come to pass. Maybe one day all of my projects will actually pan out.

now off to sleep, kiddies, i have work to do.

Hot Mess

I am a mess of emotions these days, kiddies.

I need to post more. I will. I have a couple in the works.

I went up for Winter Carnival this past weekend. It was AMAZING!! It was just what I needed. I really needed to get away, just for a weekend to refresh myself and see some of my loves and party recklessly. Of course the weekend was filled with it's share of drama (oh gays!), but overall, it was fantastic. I had so much fun. Made me feel like a celebrity! Disco Inferno was ridiculous as usual, but I was lookin' supa funky fly fresh as Soul Jones (my Disco alter ego), and made the spot groovy with my happenin'moves. Solid, baby.

The weekend and other contributors also left me with a lot on my mind. Sometimes I feel like when I'm sad or confused, or just need someone to talk to, I dunno to whom to turn. I know that I have so many wonderful friends...but they can be unavailable on occasion. And I also feel like I don't want to unload on anyone. So I bottle stuff up inside. That isn't good is it? Oh well, life will love me one day.

On that queeny dramatic note, auf, kiddies.

Something New

I posted a couple weeks ago about my inability to find my muse, yes/no?. Sometimes I enjoy writing poetry, but none I started would go much further than a few lines. Others I had written, on the other hand, seemed to come much easier in one sitting. I started to wonder what was wrong with me that I couldn't seems to find any inspiration to write. Well, I have been bitten by the bug in the middle of the night once again. This one is called "FlowS" -capitalization intentional. It's still a work in progress, but this one definitely has some inspiration behind it! :-)

FlowS

My new song flows free.
Echoes of a rhythm and beat
Pound my soul as they vibe and compete,
Generating with their unpredictable meter
A fascinating heat- or something
Undeniably captivating-
Sounding the vibrations of my heart.

These strings toil and reverb
Striking lyrics "Do Not Disturb"
From the door of a hope closed
For far too long.

I awaken for the cadence of a new beginning.
This stirring new verse
Refreshes and thrills the senses
Like crescendos unrehearsed
Beautiful tones penetrate my defenses.
My chords progress for a duet in due tempo
Seeking dynamic harmony in rubato.

My new song flows free-
Echoes of once blind rhymes,
But now, I see.
Only sweet song can my heart pour.
Homophonic accompaniments make it soar.


Metaphorically speaking, kiddies!

Fruit Works

So, here I am in the last week at Applebee's. I've been working there for quite a few months this time around, and surprisingly, I will miss parts of it when I'm gone. I will NOT miss the job. I will miss the people and how I could count on a good laugh everyday. Those people kept me sane in a time when I definitely needed it. I really did have fun on the job most days joking around with my fellow Apple-Buddies™. We did share laughs and stories and complaints from obnoxious guests. However, there is one thing I did not share with them.

And I am completely at peace with that decision. Certainly there are times when I feel guilty and times when I feel angry. Also there are times when I just don't want to be bothered. The latter was most often the case. Hate me for selling out, but I guess they'll never know...

Tie'd Down

Ever since my birthday back in November, I made a silly resolution to wear ties whenever I go out. I have, for the most part kept up with it.

In high school, I had to wear a tie every day, and amidst the goraning and protests of other students who felt it a pain in the ass, I actually liked it. I love ties. They are my absolute favorite accessory, and I try to wear them whenever appropriate.

But after I turned 21, I figured, why not make everyday appropriate! When I was a kid, I associated ties with people who were grown and independent and making a life for themselves. Though I may be often over-dressed for many occasions, I think they are pretty neat, and they make me happy. I get compliments all the time, so why not keep it up? I built the damn collection for 4 years, why let it go to waste. I love button shirts, and what better to pair it with than a smart tie. I'm not saying I'm Mr. GQ all the time, but there are ways to dress down or casually and sport a tie, and I try to make it work with or match the affair.

This is is no way a boast of my fashion sense, just a proclamation of my love affair with the neck tie. So when you see me with one, you'll know I'm just all grown up.

If I could only master the windsor knot, kiddies...

Tabard, Zunt!

I miss The Tabard, through and through.

If there is any place at Dartmouth which registers as home to me, it is The Tabard. I joined the co-ed greek house at 3 Webster Avenue in my sophomore spring, and after I did, I wondered what the hell took me so long! As I pass under the iron ∑EX porch on my way into the house, I know I am safe, I know I am among friends, I know that I am going to hear/see/feel/taste shit i won't find anywhere else on campus...nay, in life. And that's what's most exciting!

Doors Close, Windows Open. Easy Come, Easy Go.

I am liking '07 already.

I really like the direction it is headed. Looking broad picture into my near future this year, i like what's in store.

I ran into a friend the other day who I hadn't seen in years. He used to live down the street from me, and we were best friends growing up. He's so much older now. He looked weathered with so much life that I haven't even begun to expereince. He's only 2 months older than me, but we're years apart now. He came to my house, we exchanged numbers and an awkward handshake. It was still great to see him. We used to be thick as thieves until I became so busy in school life and then moved away to college, and he started staying on the other side of town with his aunt. Nice to know you can always stumble on a familiar past.

I also got offered a job today. I was waiting on these two men dressed in business attire, and after they finished eating, I asked if they would be interested in trying a dessert (chocolate meltdown..dripping with fudge, sizzling apple pie..with cascades of caramel sauce, or maple butter blonde... for example). the one guy who had about 20 diet pepsi's says to me, "you seem like such a good salesman to me the way you almost got me to buy about 5 appetizers and now 3 desserts...what would you say to working full time in sales?" I sort of looked dumbfounded for a minute. I really didn't know how to respond. I always thought I'd be quick to jump on the bus and leave the bar & grill in the applebees neighborhood. But, I said I would have to decline as I'm really a full time student. But, I waited for him to explain more. He said they worked for Enterprise car rental and they'd love for me to swing by and have a look around, fill out an application and all the usual formalities. They gave me a website and a name and number to consider, and I told them I certainly would. But, I figure it's pretty pointless to be trained for a job, and begin it (it's probably a commission job anyway) just to say, "oops, time for school now," grab my lunchbox and leave. Ahh, the exciting adventures of the 'Beez.

I think this boy has had just a little too much excitement in only 4 days..not to mention the tall, dark, and handsome stranger that has caught my eye!

I just hope it's all real life, not just a fantasy...

Carry on, kiddies.